Is Your Gossip Still All Good?
Last year, I realised I’d fallen into a bit of a hole. A gossip hole.
Not the light, cheeky kind where you tell your mate someone’s got a new boyfriend or just landed a killer job (I love that kind of gossip - the “yay her!” type).
No, this was more… mean. More judgmental. More “I’d never say this if she was in the room.”
And it started to make me feel a bit crap about myself.
Something happened - I won’t go into all the details - that made me stop in my tracks and properly reassess my part in it all. How easily I'd slipped into the habit. How automatic it had become. How normal it felt to bond over pulling someone else apart.
And even though the science around gossip is fascinating (and it is - it can boost connection, reinforce social norms, even regulate stress), that wasn't what was happening for me. It wasn’t connection I was building. It was something a little uglier. Something that chipped away at my self-worth.
For those who do want to delve into some of the research, here are a few interesting reads:
The Surprising Benefits of Gossip (The New York Times)
Gossip as a Social Tool (Greater Good Magazine)
Why We Gossip – and When It Becomes Harmful (Psychology Today)
So I decided to stop…well it’s a WIP.
Not in a performative, “I’m so evolved now” way.
More like… “I don’t like how this makes me feel and I want better for myself.”
It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t easy.
Because gossip is everywhere.
It is the norm. It’s the glue in some friendships. It fills the awkward space. It can make you feel temporarily important. But at what cost?
A Pause for You
Ok, so why am I sharing this?
Because maybe it’ll help you pause and reflect on where you’re at right now with gossip.
(Genuinely — there’s no judgment here. Promise.)
Maybe take a quiet moment and ask:
How does gossip show up in my life?
Is it building me up… or slowly wearing me down?
Not all gossip is bad. And not all silence is virtuous.
But if something feels off - if it makes you feel smaller, meaner, or just… not like you - it might be time for a gentle check-in.
And hey - it’s Monday. So let’s not spiral. Let’s reset.
Let’s look for the kind of connection that leaves us feeling lighter.
More “yay her!” than “did you hear?”
Here’s to more of that kind of energy this week 💛
Kim Palmer - Founder, Clementine