How To Show Some Self Love This Valentine’s Day
So, it’s valentine’s day. And those words might feel a bit jarring for you, or fill you with all the good stuff - either way, that’s okay. We often hear the words “self-love” mentioned a lot at this time of year too, but that doesn’t mean that it’s always an easy thing to reach for, or even understand what it is.
In the run up to Valentine’s this year, we decided to reach out to our wonderful community of Mindset Champions to ask them what what acts of self-love they reach both for Valentines, and all year round - because self-love isn't just for Valentines Day. As always, they didn’t disappoint with their wisdom and rituals and now we get to share them with you…
Jemma Sawyer - Iloh
“As a single woman, Valentines can feel a little ‘meh’ so it’s all about the self love…. This year I’m treating myself to a new fragrance which will bring joy and last longer than the traditional bunch of flowers….”
Ati Balding - Surrey Hills Wellness
“Valentine’s day – a bit like marmite! There’s no shying away from it as we are reminded of this day months in advance through the portals of social media and adverts.
I like to give a loving reminder that your relationship with yourself is just like any other relationship. Heart coherence is one of the ways that I greet myself every morning. Here’s how to practise heart coherence:
Take 5 deep belly breaths.
Place one or both palms on your heart space.
Imagining your heart space – I like to imagine a luscious wild flower meadow with butterflies flitting from flower to flower.
Start with calming regular breaths now as you close your eyes and say out loud or quietly to yourself : ‘I am enough’ ‘I love and accept myself’
Then imagining the breath going into the heart space and gently with loving kindness imagine as many memories that bring peace and safety. Perhaps you can imagine someone that you love or imagine your younger self.
A few words about imagining things. You don’t have to invite happiness into the space as this is a spectrum. I find inviting a sense of ease and being surrounded by a soft pink light helps me to stay focussed. Sometimes I focus on my breath whilst holding the heart space.
If you can’t say ‘I love and accept myself’ you can try and say ‘ I am working towards loving acceptance’.
A timer helps and you can do this for as long as you like. Even one minute of heart coherence is enough to exercise the self-love muscle.”
Natasha Evans - Natasha Evans Nutrition
“One thing I advise all my clients is to have a “self-care menu”. This is a menu of all the things that tend to boost your mood. When we feel anxious, low or stressed, it can be hard in the moment to think of ways out or remember things that have helped in the past.
The self-care menu is a great prompt. When needed, I scan my menu and see which item appeals to me or is accessible to me at that time, and then action it. The menu will be personal to everyone, but here are some examples of the things on my list:
Cup of tea
Cold shower
Hot bath
Light a candle
Guided meditation
Go for a walk
Sit outside and listen to a podcast
Cuddles
Call a friend for a laugh
Light movement
Wim hof breathing
Face mask
Sometimes it’s very hard to muster up the energy to do even one of these things. But as soon as you rip the bandaid off and try one thing on the menu, the thought of doing some other things may already feel a bit easier.”
Katrina - Life as a Libra
“On the days where I am not feeling any love for myself whether morning or night I will go to the gym or have a walk along the beach!
I love knowing that I have done something that’s just for me, my mind, and my body. It makes me feel stronger physically and most importantly mentally – I let anxieties build and knowing I have pushed past them makes me feel so much love for myself!”
Jo Keatley - Jo Keatley Coaching
"I use short mantras to show myself self-love. Over time I have become aware of when I have negative internal dialogue, particularly when I feel challenged or emotionally low. For example I have caught myself saying "what is wrong with me?", but now I replace that with "nothing is wrong with me, I'm dealing with some hard stuff and doing my best".
In addition to this I look in the mirror and literally say to myself "I love you, I trust you, I believe in you". I try to do this even more when I am having a bad hair day, when I have a spot or imperfections or when I'm generally not feeling great physically. It's really hard but even more important to show ourselves love in those moments when we're being so self-critical."
Janine Green - Grounded Coaching
"I have to get outside and move my body to nourish myself. If I do this I feel like I'm ready for anything, because I've done something purely for me. Being outdoors calms me, resets me and gives me perspective. So whether it's a walk, a run or a swim, I make sure I do this every day in some way.
Sometimes it needs to be energetic, sometimes it needs to be gentle, but I listen to my body and know what it needs, which in turn gives my mind the right nourishment. This Valentine's Day you'll find me swimming in the lake to set me up for half-term week!"
Lubna Arielle - Lubna Gem Arielle
"From meditation and gratitude practice to time in nature, nourishing conversations and all types of journaling, self-care practice is pretty much embedded in my life. From my own experience of having a breakdown some years ago, all of this is not always enough – we are human and may still crumble.
My top self-care tip is to meet yourself where you are and don’t feel ashamed to reach out for help. When I was struggling, I left this too late and became extremely unwell. Speak to someone if things are tough for you - and if you are at a low ebb, appropriate professional help may be best. Embracing my whole experience, allowing myself to drop the smile and pay attention to my mental health is the kindest thing I have done for myself. Please show love to all of you too."
We hope that you find some sparks of loving inspiration from these individuals who have kindly given us a glimpse into their acts of love for self. And for today, and every day, we want to tell you that you are enough.
Days like Valentines might leave us feeling a touch inadequate. And so, our parting words of loving support for you are from our morning session “I am enough.”
