Reframe Your View of Your Sex

by Clementine Community, 13th February 2022

To kick of 2022 with a bang, we went straight in with our Reframe festival - a virtual wellness festival spanning over 4 Mondays in January. And to start off the festival, we had a night talking all about sex, baby! Our aim with the Reframe Festival this year was to open the lid on topics that we don’t always talk about. We wanted answers to the questions that we still might not know, no matter how old we are, and that’s exactly what we got from our first night of the festival.

Hosted by Emily Prichard of Hanx, we were joined this night with talks about everything from sex education for adults to ethical porn and sex and the menopause. And boy did we get some juicy takeaways that we’d love to share so that we can all start reframing our mindsets around sex. So let’s get into it, shall we?

Sex education for grown ups: how to have ‘the talk’ with the TikTok generation
 
Our first chat was with Ellie & Sav from SHAG Community, a creative platform for young adults to engage, explore & educate one another in sexual health, wellbeing and politics, and they helped get us up to date on their top tips for implementing sex education:

  • Avoid speaking about STIs in terms of being “clean” or “not clean” - this can lead to judgement which can discourage being tested
     
  • Normalise anatomically correct language to help reduce the stigma around them - this helps make everyone feel more normal for the bodies they have
     
  • Encourage open communication - lead by example with this one by setting the stage for open and honest conversation around sexual education, wellness and politics
     
  • Set and honour boundaries - these are so important to set for yourself, but to also respect for others
     
  •  Know that everyone is on a journey - we’re all working our way through this at our own pace. Be kind and understanding towards yourself and others.

A quick exercise to try:

Take a moment to consider what experiences and influences you’ve been exposed to that have negatively impacted your relationship with sex. 

What kind of culture could you create where the following generations wouldn’t have to do the unlearning process that so many of us have to? 
 

Recommendations:

They also left us with some epic recommendations on films, tv series and books that have helped push forward inclusive and progressive sexual education. 

TV shows
- Normal People 
- Sex Education
- I May Destroy You
- Big Mouth 

Films
- Eighth Grade
- Promising Young Women

Books
- Want Me - Tracey Clark-Flory
- Fight Like a Girl - Clementine Ford
- Outspoken - Veronica Reuckert 


The next generation of porn

For our second chat of the evening, we were joined by Frederica of Cheex, a sexual wellness platform focused on fairly produced & ethical porn. And the big question we all had was, what is ethical porn? Here’s what we learnt…


Ethical & fairly produced porn means:

- Providing unashamed sex education from experts

- Displaying real, authentic and consensual sex experiences 
 
- Creating safe working environments for performers

- Providing intimacy & psychological coaches for performers

- Performers are paid fairly 

- Performers can withdraw consent at any point 
 

Sex & the Menopause

 

To round off our evening, we were joined by Dr Sarah Welsh, Co-founder of Hanx, creators of sex-positive, sustainable, good lookin’ and gynae-backed sexual wellness products. We talked all things menopause from the basics to how it affects the sex we have, and here’s what we learnt…


- The menopause is when you stop having periods and producing eggs

- This occurs when you have not had a period for 12 months, with the average age of menopause in the UK occuring at 51. 

- There are a variety of impacts of the menopause & peri-menopuase, including hot flushes, night sweats and vaginal dryness and an impact on labio 

- It’s important to challenge the stigma around the menopause and the use of helpful products such as lubricants to improve our sex lives throughout this period


This night was all about breaking the taboo of talking about subjects that really matter to women, and we certainly did that! Please give the wonderful women and businesses who taught us so much in our festival all the love and support you can muster! 

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