How to Navigate Christmas After a Break-Up

This summer saw the launch of the UK’s first ever ground-breaking platform, Pivot, a holistic marketplace designed to support individuals navigating the complexities of divorce and separation. This week, Founder of Pivot, Nimrita Dadlani, speaks to us about how we might navigate the festive period during or after a break-up, separation or divorce…

Breaks-up are difficult at any time of year but most heart-wrenching is when they come at a time you are supposed to be celebrating -- a holiday, a religious occasion, or a date of significance. It’s the rituals that are often involved that make the changes in your life more visible, and more apparent. As a single mother myself, I know firsthand that Christmas can amplify feelings of loss and change.

There are practical ways you can handle this challenging time, that many of you may be facing right now. 

1.Acknowledge how you are feeling

It’s very normal to feel a mix of emotions during the holidays, even at the best of times. But now, you might be enjoying a festive moment one minute, and then something can very easily trigger you into a wave of sadness the next. Recently, one of our Pivot community members shared how she burst into tears while decorating her tree - the first one without her ex-partner. The key isn't to suppress these feelings but to accept them as part of your healing journey. Finding relational support to help you along the way is also an important part of being able to be with your feelings.

2. Reimagine Traditions

This is your chance to create new traditions that reflect who you are now. Christmas Eve might now become a magical movie night with your children – think popcorn, festive pyjamas, and hot chocolates with a classic Christmas movie, or you might try doing something else totally different. Sometimes the most beautiful traditions are born from times of change.

3. Preparation is Key

“Fail to plan, and you are planning to fail”. This is one of my most favourite lines, and it is even more true when it comes to holidays, especially if you are co-parenting. This might mean:

• Having a schedule for shared parenting time if children are involved

• Planning activities for potentially difficult days

• Creating exit strategies for overwhelming social situations

• Having your support system on speed dial, and letting them know if you are feeling particulatly fragile and might need a chat or a shoulder to cry on. 

4. Focus on Self-Care (Yes, even during the holidays!) 

The festive season can be exhausting even in the best of circumstances. Add a break-up to the mix, and self-care becomes crucial. This doesn't mean you need to book a spa day (though if you can, why not?) Simple acts like:

• Taking a morning walk to clear your head

• Maintaining regular sleep patterns

• Setting boundaries with social commitments (it’s ok to say no!) 

• Practicing mindful moments between activities

• Potentially limiting alcohol consumption if this might make you more unsteady. 

5. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Human Connection

While it might be tempting to isolate yourself, connecting with others who understand your situation can be very powerful for healing. A member of our community started a WhatsApp group for others going through similar experiences. They share everything from funny holiday memes to genuine moments of support when things get tough. The importance of having people on hand who understand how you are feeling while on your ‘break-up recovery and healing journey’ cannot be underestimated. 

Here are some practical tips for tough moments: 

• Have a pre-prepared response for difficult questions about your ex

• Create a playlist of uplifting music or listen to the Clementine app if you need to stop ruminating thoughts

• Plan activities that make YOU happy. 

• Remember it's okay to say ‘no’ to events that feel too challenging

• Keep a journal to process your emotions

• Consider volunteering - helping others can lift your spirits.

The truth is, for me, navigating the holidays after heartbreak felt like walking through a tunnel of fire - it's intense, painful, uncomfortable, and at times, it can feel endless. But here's what I know for sure: the only way out is through. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply show up for ourselves, one day at a time. It might mean crying while hanging Christmas decorations or feeling a really sad when a familiar song plays, or even creating new traditions that feel strange at first. But you need to remember that with each step forward, no matter how small, you're moving through that tunnel. And while it might not feel like it right now, there is light ahead.

Courage isn't about feeling fearless - it's about acknowledging your fears and moving forward anyway. You're allowing yourself to feel, to heal, and to grow. That's not just brave - it's transformative. And one day, perhaps sooner than you think, you'll look back and realise just how far you've come. The tunnel will be behind you, and you'll be standing in your own light, stronger and wiser for having made the journey.

Nimrita Dadlani, Co-founder of Pivot,

Created by visionary founders Nimrita Dadlani and Ramesh Touraney, Pivot was born from Nimrita’s personal journey through the fragmented divorce wellness industry. The platform addresses the urgent need our society and culture faces given the often out-of-date approach to divorce and the relational cliff-edge couples can experience during the legal process.

Pivot connects people embarking on divorce with leading divorce coaches, consultants and experts, offering a streamlined solution to save time, money, energy and alleviate stress during one of life's most challenging transitions.

Connect with Pivot on Insta @your.pivot or head to https://yourpivot.co/